简单搞笑英语句子,简短的英语小笑话

简单搞笑英语句子目录

英语笑话，好笑的，短一点，简单一点的，不要是对话的形式

简短的英语小笑话

英语笑话（要简短又笑的）

1. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.。

2. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.。

3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.。

4. I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.。

5. I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome.。

6. I'm not procrastinating, I'm just prioritizing my laziness.。

7. I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person.。

8. I'm not old, I'm a classic.。

9. I'm not talking to myself, I'm having a staff meeting.。

10. I'm not forgetful, I'm just selectively remembering things."。

英语笑话，好笑的，短一点，简单一点的，不要是对话的形式

一：She Didn"t Say Anything

A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.

The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。

“How do you know?” asked her father.

“She didn"t say anything.”

二：I Have Turned It Over

A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”

The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”

简短的英语小笑话

A tiger caught a Deer.一只老虎抓到一头鹿

　　The tiger plans to eat the deer, so the deer screamed: " you can't eat me"老虎打算吃了这头鹿.鹿急忙大叫：“你不能吃我？”

　　The tiger hesitated, feeling very strange, so he asked the deer: " why can't i eat you? 老虎一楞，感到很奇怪，于是问鹿：“为什么我不能吃你？”

　　The deer said:" Because im a protected second class animal in the country, so, no matter what you can't eat me !"

　　鹿说：“因为我是国家二级保护动物，所以，你无论如何也不能吃了我！”

　　The tiger after hearing what the deer said, laughed and said " haha, then i should really eat you !

　　老虎听完笑着说：“呵呵，那么我更应该要吃你了

　　Deer asked : " why ?"

　　鹿说：“为什么？”

　　" because im a first class protected animal in the country" Tiger proudly said

　　“因为我是国家一级动物！”老虎得意地说。

　　A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantically, she called to the father outside.

　　"Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do ?"

　　Yelled back the father ,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

　　母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：

　　“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币！我该怎么办呢？“

　　孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚五分镍币！”

　　Just Sew the Buttonhole

　　Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?

　　Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.

　　丈夫：你给我把扣子缝好了吗，亲爱的？

　　妻子：没有，亲爱的。

我找不到扣子，所以我只把扣眼儿给缝上了。

英语笑话（要简短又笑的）

A teacher said to her class:

"Who was the first man?"

“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.

"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.

"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"

"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."

有个老师问班上的学生：

“谁是第一个男人？”

“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。

“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。

小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。

”

这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。

“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”

“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。

因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。

”